Omnipollo _ Fatamorgana Imperial IPA

This is some low key, headbanging shit right here I'm letting you in on. Don't you fucking tell nobody. This "brewery" was started by two Swedish gents back in 2011. They think up these ridiculously wonderful brews in their native land, then travel all around the planet to make them with other brewers. It's what's referred to as a nomadic style of brewing. This specific beer is insane.

Drawing inspiration from saisons, this oat/wheat IPA is unlike most any others you've tried. Pours so murky and smells so sweet and citrusy. Hops include colombus, citra and centennial. 8%abv so on the lower side of a double IPA. This thing is in a league of it's own. Plus, the bottle is dope as fuck. Made right here in the US. Find this! Drink this! Cheers!

My Score: 97

Beer Advocate: 97

Rate Beer: 98

Lagunitas Brewing - Night Time Black IPA

I wish more breweries made them, or at least made them this good. Black IPA's are in a league of their own. With all the characteristics of an IPA, juicy and citrus flavors and bitter, sometimes dry, but with roasted malts. Taking your palate to a whole different place.

First came the Lagunitas Day Time, which is a great session IPA. Low abv and extreme drinkability was the idea behind that one. Well, every yin has it's yang. Night time is the dark, dinner beer. Bigger abv at 7.9% yet hardly noticeable. Last year it was available in 22oz bottles but this year it has been put into 6 packs. Cool. More for less. This beer is available in Jan/Feb. Cheers!

My Score: 100

Rate Beer: 99

Beer Advocate: 92

Wolverine Brewing - Gulo Gulo Imperial Pale Lager

Not only are lagers some of the hardest and most time consuming beers to brew, those are the only beers Wolverine Brewing makes. The insane part is how they manage to push the lager envelope making some serious use of their house yeast. Today I'm telling you to go out and experience their Gulo Gulo Lager. Especially if you're an IPA fan. It's made with Cascade, Chinook, Columbus, Warrior and Pilgrim hops and dry hopped twice with Cascade before it's done. This results in one damn smooth and heartily hopped lager. Smells and has the bite of an IPA but the crisp, yet light, mouth-feel of a lager. Oh, and it's 6.7% so again, just pushing that lager yeast higher and higher. As far as I know this beer is available year-round. Named Draft Magazine's top 25 beers of 2013! Pair this with your favorite brand of hotdogs. Cheers!

My Score: 90

Rate Beer: 88

Beer Advocate: 86

Bell's brewing - Cherry Stout

Well I'm back to stouts. I'll just keep doing whatever then. Next week I'll do a review on farts. Who cares? Really, I've come back to them because I found some of this seasons Cherry Stout. Comes out around October and typically disappears pretty quick. Made with 100% Michigan cherry's, Bell's Cherry Stout is a fine marriage of tart and sweet chocolatey malts. Lightly carbonated and 7%abv. The flavors only get better as this beer warms up. You could probably pair this with some chocolate cake or your favorite gallon of ben and jerrys. Because get fat and drunk at the same time. Love you. Cheers.

My Score: 89

Rate Beer: 91

Beer Advocate: 80

Saugatuck Brewing - Neapolitan Milk Stout

Drinking the ice cream soup that had happened at the bottom of the bowl was always awesome. Relive that with beer! When poured at just the right temp (50-55) you'll get those same strawberry, vanilla and chocolate notes associated with the iconic ice cream. Best served off a nitrous tap, this beer only weighs in at 6% abv so having a couple wouldn't be a bad idea.

You should probably also get some donuts to go with it. Maybe suck on a couple sugar packets while you're at it. Also, this thing is loaded with 8 different types of malt, so it really is it's own dessert. Available year round on draft and seasonally in bottles. Now is the time. Honor thy Brimley. Cheers!

My Score: 89

Beer Advocate: 88

Rate Beer: 95

Sierra Nevada - Bigfoot Barley Wine Ale

It's not wine, ya dingus. It's beer. You haven't been paying attention. Nicely hopped, nicely malted and certainly a bold, boozy-sweetness. This multi-gold medal winner weighs in at a hefty 9.6% and you can taste it too. Shit warms the blood. Sick of shoveling already? Here's your reward. Don't live in areas that get snow? May you choke on this heavenly nectar. Centennial, Cascade & Chinook are pumped into this bitter beast matched with tons of 2 row barley and english caramel malts. It's just a big beer, okay? Hey, get drunk real fast thanks to my this thing here. Basically, you're welcome and go drink this beer already. Cheers!

BONUS!! Watch it ferment!

My Score: 93

Beer Advocate: 93

Rate Beer: 99

Bell's - Hopslam Double IPA

It's back again. That time of year I wait very impatiently for. The return of the ever-dank, Hopslam. I suppose I could chalk it up to my taste buds having the memory of a hamster, but this year it's just ever so delicious. Not that it isn't every time I have it, but I'm just glad it's around again. This 10% American Double IPA is brewed with honey and dry hopped with Simcoe. Not to mention the 6 other hop varieties it's actually brewed with. It's a very floral and fruity hopped brew. You only get Hopslam once a year so good luck fighting the hop hoarders for it. Though I hear there was an abundance of the stuff made this year and even grocery stores are carrying it. Hopefully you like in an area that gets Bell's, otherwise you should consider beer trading. Google that shit and get with the times. Your mouth wants you to put this in it and your genitals want to piss it out. Cheers!

My Score: 1oo

Rate Beer: 1oo

Beer Advocate: 99

Victory - Hop Ranch Imperial IPA

I think I said I was going to write about stouts all winter. Or maybe just toyed with the idea. Either way, I changed my mind. I opened and inserted into my face Victory's Hop Ranch just a bit ago and decided I wanted to tell you how much I'm enjoying this juicy bitch. It's an Imperial, so already I expected big. But what this beer looks like, and what this beer tastes like, are two different things. The lightest straw yellow I've ever seen in an IPA with this much flavor. In my light it almost looks like an unfiltered pilsner. Good carbonation, mid to light. Crisp on the tongue. Very citrus and bitey bitterness. Doesn't really dry the mouth out. I'm stoked on this beer. I don't know that I've had it before and I really enjoy it. Oh, it's also 9% and I don't think I realized it before I smashed through a glass. Certainly can't taste that. Bravo, Victory. Another one crushed. Cheers!

My Score: 97

Rate Beer: 99

Beer Advocate: 94

Bell's - Special Double Cream Stout

It's that time of year, where I just talk about stouts for a while. Why? Because Aren gets mad and hits me when I don't. Bell's Special Double Cream Stout. Now, if you're like me and have a dairy allergy, this name may send you to the hills screaming. No worries! I wouldn't do that to you. This stout is only named for appropriately describing it's ever so creamy mouth feel, and in fact, has no dairy in it. Sweet relief! Double cream blends 10 different malts to achieve it's flavor of roast, dark chocolatey, coffee-type flavors without focusing on the burnt, smokey aspect like most stouts. This one's all velvety goodness, baby. So curl up with your 26 cats and a blanket and have a 6er of this handy. Maybe, just maybe, your winter won't suck so much asshole. Cheers!

NOTES:

ABV 6.1%

Ages UP TO 12 MONTHS

My Score: 90

Rate Beer: 99

Beer Advocate: 89

Kuhnhenn - Dripa

The ever elusive Dripa. Once found all around Michigan at all times has now been brought down to, maybe they have it, maybe they don't. Even it's consistency is inconsistent. Yet, it remains one of the best IPA's I've ever had. Double Rice IPA. Someone once argued with me that rice doesn't belong in beer. That it's left for the Bud's and the Miller's to fuck up beer that way. I farted in that persons general direction. Rice does belong in beer. The gold medals they have won for this beer proves it. Rice allows the character of the hop to walk right up to your lips and punch your tongues face. Finishes so clean without any hop residue. Insanely easy to drink, which may pose a problem since it's 9.5%abv. I think the worst part about this beer is that it's rarely bottled and absolutely never distributed. You can usually find it on draft either at a bar or at the brewery itself, though. Thankfully growlers of the stuff as long as they have it. So, if you haven't already, go visit Kuhnhenn. They also own a bed and breakfast across the street should you get blitzed. Don't for get to order some amazing Vincenzo's pizza while you're there! Cheers!

My Score: 100

Rate Beer: 98

Beer Advocate: 98

St. Bernardus - Christmas Ale

Tis the season for big, warming beers. Might as well shove a bunch of malty Christmas beers in your face. Why not start off with one of the best right off the bat? St. Bernardus has been making beers since the 1940's but this ale is one of their newer brews, and only available around this time of year. Christmas ale is a quadruple, or a belgian strong ale, and is quite strong at 10%abv. The flavors are great for those cold nights. Candy sugar, dark fruits, malty and bready. It's even a bit spicy. This thicker red-brown ale should be your holiday night cap after opening all your presents and gorging yourself on hams and turkeys. Cheers!

My Score: 92

Rate Beer: 99

Beer Advocate: 95

Rodenbach - Classic

Sours! All of them, please and thanks. This one happens to be one of my favorites. Not only is it delicious and a near perfect sour, it's also readily available and for an exceptional price. Especially considering the methods used to make a Flemish Ale. Rodenbach has been making beer since the 1800's so the history is all in the sip. It's around 5%abv so it's not here to get you drunk as it is to give you flavor. Dark fruit notes, acidic sour, yet sweet bite, and a very present carbonation but not overwhelming. Flemish ales tend to be nice and vinegary, but in the best way. It's a crazy blend of flavors that just finish so nicely.  You're sure to find this where most imports are found. Cheers!

My Score: 90

Beer Advocate: 90

Rate Beer: 93

Nog.

You're thirsty, this is what you're having. Dating as far back as the 17th century "nog" used to refer to a style of strong beer. A "noggin" was a small cup used for drinking that beer. Most culinary anthropologists believe modern eggnog descended from a thick, boozy, late-medieval concoction called posset that was composed of hot milk and hooch enhanced with whatever spice the lord of the castle had on hand. Much like bottle fermenting, Nog can be aged for up to a year. The chemical interaction that takes place makes all the separately discernible flavors of cream, egg and booze become the one flavor known as egg nog. Typically bourbon is the booze of choice in most nog's, rum was the preferred choice in colonial days. So there you have it. A few things you probably didn't know about an old boozy, practically ice cream, beverage. Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving!

My Score: I'm lactose intolerant so this kills the human but I fucking love it. 

Alton Brown: 5 stars <--Recipe!

Anderson Valley's the Kimmie, the Yink and the Holy Gose

Gose. You already said it wrong. Pronounced Go-zuh, this style of beer, originating from German, is a refreshingly tart, wheat beer. Much like your typical berliner weisse except one extra ingredient. Salt water. Weird? Yup. Delicious? Absolutely. The style is old as shit, dating back to before the 1900's, gose's are slowly (but thankfully) coming back as craft brewers look to keep pushing the envelope. Very few American breweries do this style but Anderson Valley said they were going to do it year-round. Then they said they were going to can it. Thus your new favorite summer thirst quencher was born. Lightly acidic, lemony tartness, easy on the wheat malt. This beer is super drinkable. Even at 4.2%abv the flavor has you coming back for more. It's like if Mike's hard lemonade wasn't complete dog shit. This style and beer for me, is as refreshing as it gets.  Pair one of these with the other 5 in the sixer you pick up. Sold where finer beers are carried. Seriously, just go buy this beer. Cheers!

Rate Beer: 92

Beer Advocate: 87

My Score: 90

Flying Monkeys The Chocolate Manifesto

Chocolate lovers rejoice. I have found for you, the most chocolatey beer around. It may be like drinking boozy chocolate milk. Or a million melted tootsie rolls. With booze in them. Flying Monkey brewery's The Chocolate Manifesto is your Wonka beer. It's huge in everything from a 10%abv, to flavor, and mouth feel. The lactose sugars make this one a milk stout and it is ever so creamy. Roasty, sweet, cocoa, caramel. It's dessert in a glass. The packing is as eye catching as it can be, too. So you're sure not to miss this on the shelves. Try playing around with some hard ciders and making snakebites with this one. I've had this beer mixed with McKenzie's Pumpkin Cider and it was pretty damn good. Had Halloween written all over it. Pair this with an insulin shot. Cheers!

My Score: 89

Rate Beer: 98

Beer Advocate: 93

Founders Backwoods Bastard Scotch Ale

It's here now. Founders Novemberly seasonal Backwoods Bastard. This great big scotch is full of smokey, oaky-goodness. Sort of spiced, molasses notes. The barrels it's aged in impart some vanilla flavors. Huge 10.5% abv makes this one a bit of a sipper, much like a nice scotch. Good now, great later. Save this one in a cool, dark place for a year and you may notice some body added to it. The perfect boozy friend for the chilly nights we're inevitably dealing with now. Pair this with some of that left over halloween candy, because I know you still have some. Cheers!

My Score: 90

Beer Advocate: 97

Rate Beer: 100

Beers 101

It's not that I'm upset. I'm just disappointed. I often am told, "I like stouts but not ales...". Well guess what fancy pants, a stout is an ale. So is that fruity beer your bff Jill likes to smash so when her boobs come out she can 'blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol'. To hopefully alleviate some of this confusion, I am going to give you the quick lowdown.

There are two types of beer: ales and lagers. Ales are any type of beer that is brewed at higher temperatures (60-75°F). It's the higher temp that allows the specific type of yeast to ferment and quicker than lager yeast. Lagers are brewed at lower temps (around 34°F) and then further stored in cooler temperatures to mature. Lager is a German word meaning "to store". Aside from obvious labeling, a lager will almost always announce itself with lighter, more crisp flavors. Almost always hay/straw in color. Pilsners, marzens and bocks are all prime examples of a lager. There's really not much more to lagers so that leaves just about everything else as an ale. Only a few random styles make an appearance in a 'hybrid' category.

So there you go. Next time your butthole friend says "Fuck IPA's! Give me a real ale!", you can tell him to go suck a randall. An IPA is an ale. CHEERS!

Odd Side Ale's El Dankerino

A lot of people try to mimic the bold style of a west coast IPA, and few get it right. Odd Side kind of nails it. As far as I'm concerned, it's the mid-west equivalent of Pliny the Elder. Had that beer before? Think my claim is ridiculous? Suck it. I've done the taste test and they're not far from each other. Dankerino is a juicy double IPA with notes of citrus, pineapple and a nice pine bite. Just bitter enough but still smooth drinking. Packs a sly punch at 10% too. The name just seals the deal for me. It really is a "dank" beer and the artwork is great. OVER THE LINE!

My Score: 90

Beer Advocate: 89

Rate Beer: 92

Southern Tier's Warlock stout

All pumpkin everything. So, I already covered Pumking, why not keep it going? All you pumpkin haters can suck it, don't drink it if you don't like it. Still haven't gotten your fix? Southern Tier offers another pumpkin-packed brew for your throat hole. This time, a stout. Expect big, bold flavors commonly offered by Southern Tier. Don't leave out big abv's. Dust off those ugg boots because it's time to get white girl wasted on the tasty fall nectars. There isn't much to say separate from what I had said on Pumking, just this time it's darker, more bold and still delicious. This treat comes in 22oz bottles only or draft if you're lucky. Pair it with some chilly ass weather and your favorite boo thang. Cheers, babes.

My Score: 89

Rate Beer: 97

Beer Advocate: 89

New Belgium Lips of Faith - Le Terroir

I always want to talk about sour beers every chance I get. I love them. So if you're new to the craft game you've no doubt heard of Fat Tire. It is literally everywhere. Upon tasting your first Fat Tire, you may or may not guess that this brewery has an insane number of tricks up their sleeve. New Belgium's Lips of Faith series has an incredible roster of amazing brews, including some of the best sour, barrel-aged beers I've ever had. One of my favorite beers ever being Le Terroir. This wild ale has a light crisp, easy drinking body but is nicely dry hopped with Amarillo hops for a peachy finish and a touch of Citrus because it's an amazing hop. Having a champagne-like essence this beer is fine on it's own or paired with tons of meats and cheeses. Of course, it wouldn't be surprising that New Belgium's sour program was so good if you had known their head brewer was from a brewery called Rodenbach. If you're familiar with what they do, it all just makes sense. This beer is released once a year and it just came out so go wherever finer beers are sold and just buy up as much as you can. Cheers!

My Score: 100

Rate Beer: 100

Beer Advocate: 96